Looking down on people? What are you talking about? There is no judgment in my post - I'm not telling you that you're an awful person because you paid for the services of a prostitute, I'm saying that those types of things are not for public discussion under any circumstances. Keep them to yourself. I don't know how you manage to twist every piece of advice we have shared with you. Just get help, dude. It's clear you're in pain, but you're pursuing the wrong solutions.